Accurate Always Call Center Recording Blog by Kate Haley

1 posts categorized "startup gurus and other screwy folks"

Business Gurus & Bungholes

Apr 09

8

or when the Cornholio is the message: here's what they won't tell you about the man who can save us all.

Fig 1: Cornholio does commerce rightCornbil

Ain't venturing forth grand? If you are still considering a career in sleepless nights, here's to full disclosure and eventual salvation!

First, know that you'll eat, sleep, dream and occasionally have nightmares about your venture. Marketing will elude the best of us sometimes and a company can lack focus. This is all a normal part of starting up and these dreams, like the poor, will always be with you. But, you will find allies along the way. I'm here to introduce you to mine.

The single biggest influence in my life has been a great man. An animated man. A Cornholio man.  If you're crazy enough to startup, get to know your inner cornhole.

Incase you haven't made his acquaintance, Cornholio is the hyper, high-strung, intensely focused go-getter from Beavis and Butthead. Cornholio is Beavis' alter ego. But, more importantly to succeed, know that Cornholio is you.

At first, you may be focused on finding TP for your bunghole. That drive will get you moving (yuck, not that way) and you will find that you are changing. You may feel stronger, more assured and like it's just automatic. You will simply learn how to do the job/rule the world by not thinking about it- atleast not all the time. 

But you can't stop there. Once you do acquire the TP, you may have already noticed that the world is more vast than you could have imagined. There really are more sugary treats to be had. Despite the number of converts you have, never lose sight of the fact that Cornholio knows not compliancy.  Beavis' drive is multi-threaded. Never underestimate the value of cornering the crapaschino market. And all markets. (Hint: you better be doing this in tandem to stay ahead of the other animated critters.)

Above all, remember that belief, and Jolt cola, are the two most powerful allies to have in your corner. And never forget: "the streets will flow with the blood of the non-believers!" Cornholio doesn't.

But, don't take it from me. Learn from the Great.


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